Dec 24, 2008

Avoid Eating Healthy During the Holidays

I was just emailing a reply to someone yesterday that I had lost 13 lbs since this time last year, and was "holding" during the holidays, then was going to lose some more over the coming months, AFTER the holidays.

Then I got the following email from a friend, Teri Dempski, that is sure to put a smile on your face! This is my last post before Christmas (I think?), may I wish you a very happy Christmas, in our home this holiday has deep significance as we remember the birth of Jesus Christ, and all that means to us.

Now read on, and be sure to follow these tips, at least until the New year :-)

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare… you cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on, make a volcano of your mashed potatoes and fill it with gravy.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat, drink and be merry.

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies or pralines, have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. If you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: ENJOY! Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

1 comment:

  1. I forwarded the list to my friends, but I did not write it. (I don't know who did!) I just loved the suggestions! Happy Holidays, everyone!

    Teri Dempski